There are many people who end up in a toxic relationship. The reasons are
varied, but it is easier than you think to be involved with someone
who is harmful. Some end up in a poisonous relationship because they
grew up in toxic homes. The patterns of their childhood are
replicated without even realizing it. They simply may not know any
better. Often, they do not believe they deserve happiness. The toxic
relationship has a repeatable cycle. You meet your new partner and
find yourself in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. Only after
you have been together for a while do the signs become clear that you
are in a terrible situation. You will most certainly fight and argue,
followed by a reconciliation, and then the cycle begins again. At
this time, it is difficult to get out of the relationship because you
may suffer from low self esteem or suffer from depression and not
even know it. The following questions should help you decide if you
are in a toxic relationship or not:
* Does your partner say they love you, but their actions don't reflect this as true?
* Is your partner controlling? - Forcing you to reduce contact with friends and family is a first sign of a toxic partner.
* Has your partner attempted to make you dependent on them?
* Does you partner put you down in front of others?
* Have you changed things about yourself to please them?
* Do you feel ill just being around your partner at times?
If you now realize you are in a toxic relationship, what can you do now? The
first step is to decide if your relationship is important enough for
you to attempt to repair it, or if you feel you need to get out and
stay out. If you are unwilling to walk away, you must take the
necessary steps to redefine the relationship and set new boundaries
that will help you and your partner begin to heal. The good news is
that there are many quality options available to help turn a harmful
relationship into a great one. If fact, you may even want to check out this Relationship Product Review for further help. It is possible to break the cycle of a
toxic relationship. You may be able to suggest relationship
counseling as an option. If approached with the idea that you need
assistance in order to be a better partner, they may support your
decision. Perhaps you need to take time and be separated from each
other for a short while. Group therapy is also something that could
be considered, but this will be more effective if both partners
attend. Why does someone stay with a partner who makes them feel
physically or emotionally fearful? Why do people stay in a harmful
relationship? Children and religious beliefs are two major reasons
toxic couples stay together. In other cases, the toxic person has
taught you that it is your fault that the relationship is like it is.
It is difficult to walk away, or even to set new limits in your
relationship, but it is imperative that you be strong and show them
you are able to leave if positive changes are not made. It is very
important not to provoke your toxic partner, but instead assert what
you need from the relationship. Your request for support or love may
be just the wake up call that your partner needs as well. While
breaking up is an option, it should only be considered as a last
resort. There should be no question that if physically attacked, you
should be prepared to leave, get specialized help, and only attempt
to reconcile in a safe place and with supervision or assistance. If
done correctly, the odds are good that you can heal your relationship
and help it grow. You have the power to repair your toxic
relationship. Remember the reasons you fell in love with your partner
in the first place. Find common ground and express your love and
support, as well as your need for the same. Begin the healing process
immediately. In addition, you may find more free relationship advice here.
I would really appreciate any comments or constructive criticism.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
How to Have a Great Relationship With the Help of Counseling
The choice to attend relationship counseling is often only considered as a last chance option to save a problem relationship and prevent a break up. However, in order to have a great relationship, it is best if a couple tries counseling early in the relationship before problems compound. Don't be afraid to try counseling since it is possible that small problems caught early can prevent larger issues and potentially save a relationship.
Older couples and those who have been married 20 or 30 years ago tend to shy away from counseling since it was not readily available as an option when they were younger. This is unfortunate, especially the not knowing if counseling could have saved the relationship. Younger couples are more apt to try new things and counseling is much more common than before.
When bringing up the subject of attending relationship counseling, the best approach is to explain that you need help dealing with an issue. This will reduce resistance to meet with a counselor and your partner will not feel accused of being the problem. Eliminating blame and a gentle request for much needed help for yourself will go a long way to having your partner say yes to counseling.
Never accuse your partner of needing counseling even if you believe they are the biggest part of the problem. If you explain that counseling could teach you to be a better partner and help you contribute more to the relationship, you should have a favorable response to you request for counseling. Once in counseling, you both will gain insights on how to perform your roles in the relationship better.
It really doesn't matter if you have been together for 6 months or 30 years, relationship counseling can be a way to keep small problems from becoming large ones. It's never too early or late in a relationship to admit that counseling can help make your bonds stronger and can help with techniques to keep your relationship running smoother.
Staying cool and collected while discussing attending relationship counseling is essential. Your partner could become defensive and feel that it is their fault that things are not going right. They might also not realize that there was a problem and need time to sort things out. Make sure to explain that choosing counseling does not mean the end of the relationship, but a way to learn how to make changes to improve your time together.
Even with careful planning and picking the right time to bring up the subject, your partner may still refuse to go to counseling with you. While not the response you are hoping for, this is not the time to get upset, or to place blame. Counseling will work better with both of you going, however, it is imperative that you go ahead and attend on your own. It is possible that your partner will realize how important that counseling can be to your relationship, especially if you are able to maintain a positive attitude, and make the decision to go with you.
When counseling isn't your preferred method, or is not a convenient option, there is another low cost relationship repair option and is available immediately here.
Older couples and those who have been married 20 or 30 years ago tend to shy away from counseling since it was not readily available as an option when they were younger. This is unfortunate, especially the not knowing if counseling could have saved the relationship. Younger couples are more apt to try new things and counseling is much more common than before.
When bringing up the subject of attending relationship counseling, the best approach is to explain that you need help dealing with an issue. This will reduce resistance to meet with a counselor and your partner will not feel accused of being the problem. Eliminating blame and a gentle request for much needed help for yourself will go a long way to having your partner say yes to counseling.
Never accuse your partner of needing counseling even if you believe they are the biggest part of the problem. If you explain that counseling could teach you to be a better partner and help you contribute more to the relationship, you should have a favorable response to you request for counseling. Once in counseling, you both will gain insights on how to perform your roles in the relationship better.
It really doesn't matter if you have been together for 6 months or 30 years, relationship counseling can be a way to keep small problems from becoming large ones. It's never too early or late in a relationship to admit that counseling can help make your bonds stronger and can help with techniques to keep your relationship running smoother.
Staying cool and collected while discussing attending relationship counseling is essential. Your partner could become defensive and feel that it is their fault that things are not going right. They might also not realize that there was a problem and need time to sort things out. Make sure to explain that choosing counseling does not mean the end of the relationship, but a way to learn how to make changes to improve your time together.
Even with careful planning and picking the right time to bring up the subject, your partner may still refuse to go to counseling with you. While not the response you are hoping for, this is not the time to get upset, or to place blame. Counseling will work better with both of you going, however, it is imperative that you go ahead and attend on your own. It is possible that your partner will realize how important that counseling can be to your relationship, especially if you are able to maintain a positive attitude, and make the decision to go with you.
When counseling isn't your preferred method, or is not a convenient option, there is another low cost relationship repair option and is available immediately here.
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